The Spring of Cary Grant: An Affair to Remember

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized15 Comments

So when Lisa at Boondock Ramblings told me she was going to do a Spring of Cary Grant, I knew I wanted in on it. She introduced me to the legend that is Grant last fall, and I am woefully behind on his films. So I am tagging along on her journey, posting along with her as well.

This week’s feature: An Affair to Remember

Oh please don’t kill me internet but I was not a super fan of this one! I know this is a classic tearjerker, romantic film but.. it was hard for me to get past some things!

I feel like this is such a famous movie that I don’t need to do a recap, but real quicklike, Grant plays a player, he likes women and dates them all. Sometimes all at once. Well, he gets engaged and goes on a cruise and meets Kerr, who is also in a relationship, but the two of them being otherwise connected to other people doesn’t deter Nick (is his name always Nick in movies?) from working his wiles upon Terry (Kerr), who does refuse his advances, although she is very drawn to him.

Anyway, she meets his sweet grandma (I guess I am doing a recap), she learns he yearns to paint as his secret passion, he learns she can sing. It is on this visit that they realize they love each other, however since they have other entanglements they make a deal – they will go back to their lives, decide what it is they really want, and if they decide that what they want is the other person, they will meet New Years Eve on top of the Empire State Building.

So anyway, NYE rolls around and Nick is waiting. Terry is on her way to their rendezvous and happiness is in sight – until she is plowed by a car in front and becomes paralyzed from the waist down.

This is where the movie loses me. And I tried not to let my own emotions interfere here but it was hard to separate. Kerr is not a lesser woman or person because she is in a wheelchair! I realize sentiments and things were different then but this was a hard plotline to swallow as the parent of a child in a wheelchair. I never, ever want him to feel like he is not good enough for someone to love. And I know this is just a movie, but the whole thing bothered me.

So the end – which makes everyone cry and made me throw hands. So Nickie finds Terry after she visits his gallery and he learns of a woman who looked like the woman in the painting but this woman was in a wheelchair. He barges into her apartment (because no one locked doors back then) and puts two and two together, and then he rushes to her side with declarations and questions, why didn’t you tell me? Why couldn’t it have been me? kind of things. And they reconcile and embrace and Terry says “Don’t worry, darling. If you can paint, l can walk. Anything can happen, don’t you think?” I mean, sure maybe. I don’t want to take that away from her. But, does it matter if she doesn’t? Billy chose to interpret that as his paintings of her will allow her to walk, like through art but not physically.

And yes, I am being overly reactive and emotional about this. I am normally not. I am not one for going back and revising things to meet modern beliefs and standards- I like to take those moments as learning opportunities, or to look back and think look how far we have come (sometimes). But I guess I also don’t need to get weepy over something that actually made me feel sad for a much different reason.

I don’t want to take away how far things have come for the disabled community either, by getting too up in arms. This was just too close to my mama bear heartstrings. I can see how it would be a beautiful, teary moment in the 50s, and even now. So if you loved it and were teary then I see nothing wrong with your reaction! I think that is the typical, normal response. Mine was just influenced by my own emotions this time around. So please don’t feel like if you did love this movie and wept over the ending that I am being critical of you. I am not. Really, truly, I mean that. We all just view life through a different lens and for me my lens was a little clouded. This was just not my favorite, although the acting range was incredible. It just wasn’t my Grant movie. So far that is still To Catch a Thief (with Houseboat a close second).

For Lisa’s post, click here!

Next up – Holiday!

Book Review: The White Hare

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn book review9 Comments

Publisher Summary:

In a valley steeped in legend lies an abandoned house where Edens may be lost, found and remade…

The White Valley in the far west of Cornwall cuts deeply through bluebell woods down to the sea. The house above the beach has lain neglected since the war. It comes with a reputation, which is why Mila and her mother Magda acquire it so cheaply in the fateful summer of 1954.

Magda plans to restore the house to its former glory: the venue for glittering parties, where the rich and celebrated gathered for bracing walks by day and sumptuous cocktails by night. Mila’s ambitions, meanwhile, are much less grand; she dreams of creating a safe haven for herself, and a happy home for her little girl, Janey.

The White Valley comes with a long, eventful history, laced with tall tales. Locals say that a white hare may be seen running through the woods there; to some she’s an ill omen, to others a blessing. Feeling fragile and broken-hearted, Mila is in need of as many blessings as she can get. But will this place provide the fresh start she so desperately needs?

My Thoughts:

I could not get enough of this book. I love books that feel heavy with mystery and history and folklore, that are atmospheric and surprising. This book had all of that, PLUS rabbits! Ok so not like rabbits running around being super cute but sort of maybe ominous and curious most of the book because you are not quite sure what the heck is going on but you know, just know, something is afoot, and the white hare totally has something to do with it.

The story is set in Cornwall, in a house that has a mysterious past, and not a good one from what new owner Mila can surmise. No one will really tell her just what happened there, just that it is a “cursed place”. But hopeful Mila, who just wants a whimsical, safe, loving childhood for her daughter, Janey, has high hope for their new home. Not as high of hopes as her own mother however, Magda, who plans on turning the house into a ritzy high end inn for travelers. Janey, for her perspective, instantly takes to the house and particularly the land, and runs a bit wild and free, which I loved.

This is one of those books I don’t want to get into much detail or talk too much about – I think there is just too much to spoil for a reader.

I will say that it reading it reminded me so much of reading a book by Barbara Michaels or Mary Stewart, which is high praise from me because I love those two authors. There is a timelessness about it, a quietness despite the unease that grows as the book moves along. I wanted to pull on my wellies and explore the bluebell woods, the beach, learn about the turbulent history of the area (oh, I can do that one) along with these characters. I want to sit in the kitchen with Keziah and Ariadne, ramble the hills with Jack. It was one of those books guys, where you just fall right into that world, and then when it is over, you are left feeling a little lost because you are not there anymore.

This book is definitely one of my favorite reads this year so far. I look forward to rereading it again and again!

My Sunday-Monday Post

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn books and reading36 Comments

My Sunday Post is hosted by Kimba the Caffeinated Book Reviewer

Sunday Salon is hosted by Deb at Readerbuzz

It’s Monday! What Are You Reading? is hosted by Kathryn at Book Date

Hello everyone! We had a very quiet week around here, and so far, a pretty quiet weekend. It’s been nice actually. I’ve been working on a new enterprise along with Billy, making journals that I sell over on Amazon through their self-publishing service, and I have been enjoying working on them whenever I can catch a moment. So far I have made camping and caregiver and medical journals to take to doctor’s appointments, as well as a line of nature journals that Wyatt designed the covers for. It’s been really fun!

I’ve also been making my final decisions on the curriculum that Wyatt and I are going to use next year. It is one of my favorite things to do! I’ve been toying with an idea of a YouTube channel to talk about homeschooling, and homeschooling a special needs child, our crazy life and adventures, but…I don’t know if I would feel comfortable being in front of a camera like that. I prefer being behind the scenes and behind the camera, but I feel like I get so much out of the YouTube channels I watch, information wise, that I wonder if I have something to offer with our experiences as Wyatt’s parents and how we all choose to live. It would also offer an opportunity for more conversation with other families like ours and opportunities to learn from. I don’t know though. And here I am just blathering on this morning, I guess I couldn’t wait for my coffee catch up day.

Let’s get to the books!!

Read Last Week:

So last week I ended up starting The White Hare and I absolutely am in love with it. I am not quite finished yet but I will finish today or tomorrow. It reminds me of a Barbara Michaels or Mary Stewart book and they are two of my favorite authors to read! I have also been listening to Braiding Sweetgrass. I read it a few years ago but there is something very special about listening to it as well. Robin Wall Kimmerer reads it herself and that adds such a lovely additional dimension, her words in her voice. I definitely recommend listening to it.

Wyatt and I FINALLY finished The Wild Robot. We had some big pauses in our nightly reading with his surgeries even though we tried a few times, but we finally got off that island. I do like that book and Roz and Brightbill but if you have a sensitive child I would recommend reading it yourself first to see if it will bother them.

Reading This Week:

I keep seeing so much about this Shady Hollow series that I am going to give it a go. I think I tried once before but didn’t end up reading it. And Wyatt and I have started Heartwood Hollow book 3, Better Together as our before bed read. I guess both of us are all about anthropomorphism.

Posted Last Week:

Wednesday Morning Coffee Catch Up

The Spring of Cary Grant: My Favorite Wife

Book Review: Watership Down

Watching and Listening:

We have been watching When Calls the Heart (Billy, you are such a good guy), and The Brokenwood Mysteries. I am so excited Brokenwood has a new season, I just love that show. Then Lisa from Boondock Ramblings mentioned that Newhart is on Amazon and when Billy told me he had NEVER EVER watched it, we had to add it to our line up. We watch it when we need to watch something quick and funny because Bob Newhart always cracks me up with his deadpan delivery. I remember watching it when I was real little kid with my mom and dad – just like Wyatt does now. I wonder if he will grow up wanting to live in New England in an old home in a small town, sort of like I did? I am pretty sure Newhart influenced me (but better Newhart than Dallas which I also watched with my mom…)

We also watched My Favorite Wife as part of our Spring of Cary Grant.

I haven’t been listening to podcasts since I have been listening to Braiding Sweetgrass.

Musically, we generally ask Alexa to play Classic 70s Folk, and that is our go-to. Although I always always skip Joni Mitchell because her voice is beautiful but sounds so mournful to me, and also that Cat’s in the Cradle song that always makes me want to sob.

And that is it from around here! What is going on in your world?

Book Review: Watership Down

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn book review9 Comments

I have to admit right off the bat here, that I lied in the title of this post. This is not really a review of Watership Down, per se, but more of a collection of quotes I love, and some thoughts I have on it. But not a review of the book itself. I will start with the publisher’s summary though!

Summary:

A phenomenal worldwide bestseller for over thirty years, Richard Adams’s Watership Down is a timeless classic and one of the most beloved novels of all time. Set in England’s Downs, a once idyllic rural landscape, this stirring tale of adventure, courage and survival follows a band of very special creatures on their flight from the intrusion of man and the certain destruction of their home. Led by a stouthearted pair of friends, they journey forth from their native Sandleford Warren through the harrowing trials posed by predators and adversaries, to a mysterious promised land and a more perfect society.

My Thoughts:

I get asked all the time why I love this book so much. I don’t actually have a great answer – it just speaks to me, I never get tired of it, and every reading I find something new to think about or a different way of looking at our world. I love how this band of rabbits works together, are loyal to each other, trust each other. And there is something to be said for that, especially in this world we live in. This book gives me hope, it gives me the warm feels, and, at times yes, it scares me with its violence or situations. It is a book of freedom, with characters full of wisdom, chutzpah, honor, cleverness, feyness. Characters who are leaders and storytellers and dreamers, inventors and fighters and goofs. I have a new favorite every time I finish reading it. This time around I was all about Blackberry.

Richard Adams began spinning the tales of the Sandleford Warren, Hazel, Fiver, Bigwig, and all the rest as a means of entertaining his daughters on car rides. He began putting the stories to paper and from there, Watership Down was introduced to the rest of us. Adams builds a full world, one full of myth and folklore, and even the language of rabbits, called Lapine, appropriately enough. I have read this book so often that sometimes I slip a word of Lapine into conversation here and there like a weirdo, probably, but I do it. I have been known to say Fu Inlé, or Silflay hraka, u embleer rah. Because I am not a super nerd or anything.

For many people, the only introduction they ever have had to this masterpiece is the cartoon movie from 1978, which yes, is nightmare fuel if you watched it as a little tiny kid expecting fun and fluffy bunnies. Umm, like me. I was three in 1978 and probably watched this around that time and yes, it freaked me the heck out. But I never forgot it, and a few years later picked up my first copy..the one that looks like this.

I read my first copy so often that it became tattered and worn and eventually fell to pieces. So my parents got me another one, same cover. Which also later became so well read it no longer could be read. I now currently have the one pictured at the top, and another very fancy one that Billy bought me for Mother’s Day last year. I am on a mission to collect different copies now, and keep one for reading to pieces. I realized I could just get a digital copy (and wow, I totally should!) but there is something about this book that I most definitely want to hold in my hands. This year I also listened to the audiobook narrated by Peter Capaldi, and I could not recommend it enough. The life he brings to these rabbits, the personalities are alive – it was magnificent.

My copy is currently full of underlined quotes, thoughts, notes, coffee spills (yep, I am not a pristine book reader). It is a collection of me within the confines of the book. Most quotes that I love are the most famous ones, but there is a reason that those particular phrases are so famous and loved. Let me share!

“There’s terrible evil in the world.”

It comes from men,” said Holly. “All other elil do what they have to do and Frith moves them as he moves us. They live on the earth and they need food. Men will never rest till they’ve spoiled the earth and destroyed the animals.”

“Animals don’t behave like men,’ he said. ‘If they have to fight, they fight; and if they have to kill they kill. But they don’t sit down and set their wits to work to devise ways of spoiling other creatures’ lives and hurting them. They have dignity and animality.”

This next one is a top favorite..

“Many human beings say that they enjoy the winter, but what they really enjoy is feeling proof against it.”

“…what is, is what must be.”

Ok last one, I could go on forever.

“To come to the end of a time of anxiety and fear! To feel the cloud that hung over us lift and disperse—the cloud that dulled the heart and made happiness no more than a memory! This at least is one joy that must have been known by almost every living creature.”

Have you read this? What did you think?

The Spring of Cary Grant: My Favorite Wife

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn the spring of cary grant10 Comments

So when Lisa at Boondock Ramblings told me she was going to do a Spring of Cary Grant, I knew I wanted in on it. She introduced me to the legend that is Grant last fall, and I am woefully behind on his films. So I am tagging along on her journey, posting along with her as well. I missed last week but I am back this week with My Favorite Wife!

This movie was so fun. It was so crazy and far-fetched and I well, I loved that. I mean, a woman is stranded on an island for SEVEN years? And then comes home and is perfectly perfect like she never left, no trauma, she looks great, and is just boom ready to resume her life? I loved that. Lol. However, her loyal and loving husband who waited for her and mourned her and looked for all that long time had just happened to have her declared dead and was remarried the very morning she returns. What are the odds? Like seriously, what are the odds?

This movie was a total romp. Grant, as Nick Arden, found himself with two wives, Ellen the wife who has returned from the dead basically, and Bianca, his new wife, who I felt sort of sorry for. Ellen makes her return known to him the night of his wedding, and instead of having a heart to heart with Bianca immediately, he strings her along a while. Properly, with no hanky -panky but still, it wasn’t very thoughtful or brave of him to let her just languish around really confused.

As for Ellen, Billy laughed and said there was no way in this world that I would have handled the situation with as much mirth, giggles, or grace. And he is completely 100% right. I would have given him .5 seconds to get up there and start explaining. I wouldn’t want him to hurt the new wife, but things would have been discussed, then and there.

It also comes to light that Ellen was not alone on her island. In fact, she was shipwrecked on the island with a real studmuffin, and they called each other Adam and Eve. Now, Steven (Adam) admits they did nothing that was reproachful so they don’t need to feel any regret for anything that happened on the island, but Nick is a wee bit skeptical, simply because this guy is super fit, athletic, and handsome. I must admit, I wanted to know way more about the time on the island but we never learned anything. Darn it.

Oh, I should mention that Ellen and Nick had children who were wee little kids when she was “drowned” so there are children to consider here as well. Ellen did not tell them right away, and I agree with that choice. That needed some finesse as it could have been traumatic. Thank goodness though the kids just overheard and were excited, and decided to pull their mom’s leg about it for a few minutes.

It ends at Nick’s mountain house (I wish I had a separate mountain house!) that was gorgeous. All wood and stone. Sigh. Anyway, there was some sort of nonsense happening with Nick not being sure how to handle things publicly with her return and a cruise he might take and wanting her to stay at this mountain house but then he didn’t want to actually leave her there and wanted to resume his marriage. So he ended up staying and I hated the last ten minutes and the end.

Overall, I really enjoyed this totally silly movie. Grant’s eyebrows did a lot of work in this movie, and were super expressive. He could have given Dwayne Johnson a run for his money as the People’s Eyebrow back in the day.

Have you watched this one? What do you think?

Lisa always includes cool trivia and backstory with her posts (I mean, she was a journalist before staying home to homeschool her kids). You can find her post here!

Feel free to join in if you wish! Our next movie is none other than An Affair to Remember!

Wednesday Morning Coffee Catch Up

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized12 Comments

Hello everyone!

I want to thank everyone who read and commented on my post. You guys were all so supportive, and made me feel like I wasn’t alone. So thank you for trusting me with your own stories and experiences, and for just in general making me feel so much better. You guys are wonderful!!

As for that, I am feeling much better. I have some twinges here and there of worrying about my blood pressure but that is a normal level of anxiety for me after I come through a time like I did with it. And thankfully the Xanax is taking the edge off until I am fully confident that my medicine is working. But my last reading was fantastic so I have no reason at this time to believe that it wouldn’t be. I think that the excess serotonin that was causing my issues has dissipated as well, as I was only on that increased dose two weeks. Two weeks all, and that is all it took to make things go very very awry! But I am doing much better, I am back to bustling around the house, working on projects, fixing things up, making stuff. I am giving Wyatt and I a prolonged homeschool break to enjoy spring, and we will pick back up again next month and go through summer. We are not hot weather people anyway, and will be hiding in the air conditioning more then anyway. It makes sense for us to take our break in spring when we can be outside more. We are however, going to continue reading and we are about to start a super fun Wind in the Willows unit study.

Over the weekend we actually went and did some things! On Saturday we went to my very favorite pet store, Lou’s in Grosse Pointe Woods. I feel like they are just a very responsible pet store, that they care about the well being of their animals, and it is even part of their mission statement as they state they are a place “where we’ve been crafting a culture of kindness through responsible pet ownership since 1970! Education, Community and Happy pets are what we do!” The staff is amazing and is so knowledgeable. I did not leave with another creature though, aren’t you proud of me? Lol. I was greatly tempted by a black rabbit with long ears that I desperately wanted – I even had a name picked out, Blackavar (from Watership Down, of course). However, I am so reluctant to get a rabbit although I want one so bad. I think I might have allergies to the timothy hay, etc. so I don’t want to adopt one and then find out, so.. I will have to just wistfully pet them at stores.

We saw so many fun animals though!

The teeny tiny bebe turtles were so adorable, as was that teensy little snake baby. Unfortunately that snake baby gets huge so that is another no go for me. If they stayed like 6 inches long that’d be cool. Lol.

We did drop some cash there though. I was upgrading Applejack’s enclosure because she has outgrown her current tank. It was a good size while she was a baby but now that she is an adult crestie she was cramped. My Harry passed away from a genetic defect over the winter, breaking my heart, and his ginormous tank had sat empty for months, and I finally was ready to clean it all out and turn half of it into a home for Applejack. I am going to use the other half for another crestie, but we are not ready to add to our creature menagerie yet. Billy had a piece of plexiglass cut to divide it, then we added a drainage layer, her substrate, and all her decor and plants. She had fun exploring her new space! I still need to add more plants and cork bark but we are off to a good start.

Billy however left with some new friends. Bugs. Isopods to be exact. Apparently you can get all kinds, ranging from pretty inexpensive to very very expensive (like 5 for $200!). We of course did not buy those. You use them as clean up crews in bioactive tanks like we have for our lizards, and you can breed them and sell them. So Billy is growing his “horde” as he calls it, to add to Applejack’s new house and then to ultimately sell. It’s his project so I don’t know much about it honestly, I just know he tends to them very lovingly. Lol. We bought a version called Armadillidium gestroi, and they get sort of biggish for an isopod (roly polys to the rest of us) and are yellow and black.

That literally took us all day Saturday, to build these terrariums, shop, and move Applejack.

Sunday we had a birthday party for one of Wyatt’s little cousins! T. had a party at a painting place and it was so cool – T. and J. are pictured below but from behind out of respect for their parents wishes. There was a painting session, pizza, popcorn, and lots and lots of kids screaming along to baby shark while popping balloons. It was way overstimulating for me! It was a bit overwhelming for Wyatt too, but he did have a good time popping balloons and using the swing. And of course, eating his cupcake.

Kiddo had a blast!

I have spent this week cleaning, sorting, I made new spring soap, and made reservations for a trip up north with my dad/stepmom/nephew, brother/SIL/ and the two girls they have (Mermaid Girl and baby E), the three of us, and two dogs. Let me tell you, that was a juggle to find the right amount of beds, that allowed pets, was on water, the right price, and fit everyone’s schedules, annnnd late in the season to find rentals. I finally did it! Want to see where we are going?

I am super excited!!

And I will leave on that happy note. Again, thank you everyone for all of your kind words, they were like warm virtual hugs and helped me a lot.

My Sunday-Monday Post

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized23 Comments

My Sunday Post is hosted by Kimba the Caffeinated Book Reviewer

Sunday Salon is hosted by Deb at Readerbuzz

It’s Monday! What Are You Reading? is hosted by Kathryn at Book Date

I had a very rough week last week y’all, on a very personal level. I blogged about it yesterday in a very vulnerable coffee catch up post. I didn’t read too much anything last week, but, I did listen to an audiobook. And uh, it was quite the audiobook!

Read Last Week:

If you are a regular here, you know the types of books I read. I read a lot of cozy type books, cozy fantasy, middle grade, nature books. Easy reads. Light reads. I don’t usually delve into the world of romance too often but I have been known to on occasion. And I was having a rough week last week and thought, this looks absolutely adorable and I loved Alexis from Schitt’s Creek and I love seaside tales, so I was like, I’m going to do it! And 90% of this book was cute and sweet and I absolutely adored it. But I am not used to spiciness in my books, and I am not a prude, but..

and

I totally laugh at myself. I was just not prepared you guys! If you are a person who doesn’t mind a spice level of 5/5 and some salty language, then I recommend this one. The story was adorable, the character growth and arc was a fun read and the reader of the audiobook did a fantastic job. However, if you are not into the spice, skip this one.

Reading This Week:

I have a few books that I am going to start and see which one lands. These are the main contenders though.

Posted Last Week:

The only post I wrote last week is my coffee chat.

Watched:

Again, we are boring here. When I am stressed I have comfort fall backs and my husband has been kind enough to watch When Calls the Heart with me every single night. We started all over again at the beginning. I forgot what a jerk Henry was in the beginning. Dang! I love him in the newer seasons. He has a bit of mischief about him that I like.

And that is it from around here! I wish you all a happy and safe week!

A Vulnerable Coffee Catch Up

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Coffee Catch UP, metal health31 Comments

Hi everyone. I want to share what I have been going through the past two weeks, but first, if talking about mental health or anxiety is triggering for you, then please skip this post. I would hate to cause anyone any negativity.

So. Where I have been. Three weeks ago I was feeling good – blood pressure fantastic, mild anxiety left over from Wyatt’s surgeries but nothing terrible, my weight is good, and had A+ blood work according to my doctor. However, at that wellness visit we decided to increase my Prozac by just ten milligrams. I had been taking 10mg Prozac for years, and we thought since I was having some mild anxiety we would increase it. The doctor said it still was considered a very low dose, etc. Then things when to absolute hell.

My anxiety and fear grew with every single day. I was struggling to not just lay in bed, I wanted to hide from my own brain and thoughts. It took all of my strength to get up everyday and care for myself and Wyatt, which I absolutely did. I did the bare minimum, fed us, made sure we were safe, went to appointments, but nothing extra and for sure nothing exciting or enriching. In addition to my anxiety growing – like I was afraid to eat or walk around for fear I would have a stroke – my blood pressure just kept climbing as well. I have had essential hypertension since I was 24, it is just inherited and I am very good at tracking my blood pressure and keeping a log. However, no matter what my doctor was increasing my blood pressure meds by, it was not controlling it. By Good Friday, I was feeling out of my mind, and when Billy came home from work, I drove myself to the ER. I told them I was having constant panic attacks and that my blood pressure was insane. They monitored me for about an hour, prescribed an extra pill, told me that I was actually fine and not going to die, which I was absolutely positive I was going to and gave me some good information about my current blood pressure to help me through. I wrote that kind doctor’s words down and kept them with me.

My doctor contacted me the next day, saying that she had gotten my ER notes and was going to have the nurse manager call me the following Monday to help me find an appointment to follow up. At my follow up, my blood pressure was still high. After we talked a bit about what was going on, we realized that I had been fine up until she increased my Prozac. She thinks that there is a very good chance that the increased dose triggered a reaction in my body, like a less severe version of serotonin syndrome, which in extreme cases can be fatal. Even if it was not serotonin syndrome, Prozac is a drug that when you first start taking it or have an increase in dose, it can actually INCREASE fear and anxiety for a few weeks. So just something to realize and pay attention to. I think due to my small dose and dose increase it wasn’t as severe as it could have been. However, unfortunately for me, I have a whole lot of anxiety tied up with my blood pressure anyway, as a result of my month in the hospital while pregnant with Wyatt for pre-eclampsia, which probably exacerbated the whole situation on top of things. Yay me. So, my doctor came up with a new plan. We dropped the Prozac back down to 10mg, since I can’t simply just stop taking it completely just like that, and she put me on an entirely different blood pressure medicine. And Xanax, the lowest dose for a short time until I get through this time of transition. I am not super comfortable with that last one, but I do need it right now and don’t plan on taking it longer than I need to. I will take magnesium instead, when the time comes. She told me that it is going to take a little bit to get things (blood pressure) back to normal again, and to not expect it to be back to where it was (110/75!) in just three days. I am impatient to get back there though, so I have to fight that inclination and disappointment as well, and believe that I will get better, but it will be a process.

As for my anxiety, well, right now that is pretty good. I think that once the excess Prozac has left my system finally, I will be much better. And as for the jump scare of taking my own blood pressure, Billy and I team up. He takes it, doesn’t tell me what it is, and records it for me. He knows the parameters that our doctor gave for it, and also knows how to contact her if needed.

Mental health is such a fragile thing, sometimes. Medication can be good, but also, we need to pay attention to what our bodies are telling us. Sometimes they work and sometimes we have reactions. I never read side effects because I am a person who will automatically get them if I read them, but if I take something and feel weird, I contact the doctor and let them decide. I was nervous to write this post, so many people don’t believe in medication for mental health and look down on those who take it, think they are weak. I don’t feel that way. Your body chemicals can be out whack anywhere – brain, cholesterol, hormones, heart, what have you, and it is important to take care of yourself, and if taking a medication can help and doesn’t hurt you, then so be it. But also, if you do take something and know something is wrong, do not be afraid to bring it up to your doctor. I also think you should be able to have an open, trusting relationship with your doctor. My doctor is wonderful, she listens to me, considers what I am saying, allays my fears, and is very responsive to emails – all things that I need in a doctor.

It has been a wild few months for our family and homeschool has suffered, I haven’t been as available to my mother as I need to be, but I am managing that guilt as well. I need to take care of myself so that I can get better and get back to my normal life. I am thankfully very very blessed with supportive family and friends who are helping me through these times and hopefully I will be back to my normal self soon.

Consider this my PSA for the month! Lol. Take care of yourselves, no matter what that looks like for you!

The Spring of Cary Grant: Houseboat

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized13 Comments

So when Lisa at Boondock Ramblings told me she was going to do a Spring of Cary Grant, I knew I wanted in on it. She introduced me to the legend that is Grant last fall, and I am woefully behind on his films. So I am tagging along on her journey, posting along with her as well.

The first movie up was Houseboat, starring Cary Grant (obviously), and Sophia Loren. I was absolutely enchanted by this movie. I loved it completely!

In Houseboat, Grant plays a father who has been somewhat estranged from his children and wife (that he was divorcing). When his wife dies, he realizes he needs to become a better father – which first starts with being a present father, one that is actually in their lives. The children are not too happy about this; they miss their mother, don’t really seem to know their dad, and want to stay with their grandparents and aunt. However, Grant swoops them off to Washington, D.C. and his small flat.

Grant, whose character is named Tom Winters, loses Robert, his youngest son, at a concert they are all attending. Robert has run away, just like Sophia Loren’s character, Cinzia. Cinzia is of course much older, but is avoiding her father as well. The unlikely pair, Robert and Cinzia, find themselves sharing a rowboat, and Cinzia eventually returns Robert to his family. Robert wants his dad to hire Cinzia as their maid, and after some shenanigans, she eventually signs on.

Tom realizes he has to move his family out of his small flat in the city, and makes arrangements for a guesthouse. However, that plan is derailed, and they end up moving onto a very dilapidated houseboat, all five of them. Tom, his three children, and Cinzia.

The houseboat is falling apart, Cinzia has absolutely no domestic skills at all as she was not raised to need them, the kids and Tom are still finding their footing, and Tom’s late wife’s sister has set her cap for Tom. There is a lot going on, including a budding romance between the feisty, temperamental, fun loving Cinzia and sort of conventional Tom.

I don’t want to tell you the whole movie though! This movie was so wholesome and cozy and I just loved it. It made me want to move to a beautiful houseboat, because after what seems like one night on a ramshackle boat, it is fixed up to like brand new practically overnight. And it is gorgeous!

I loved the family, how Tom tried to relate to his children and often failed, and how he did eventually reach them and make connections with them with the help of Cinzia. Two scenes really stand out for me – in one scene Tom is speaking to his oldest son about death and how when things die they are never really completely gone or disappear, they just become a part of everything else, which I loved, and then another scene with a completely sexist tone. Cinzia is being made to serve Tom and his guests, which included his sister-in-law Carolyn whom he is dating, and another couple. Well they are completely snobbish and rude and rude, all of them, but then things really hit the fan when the other man slaps Cinzia on the behind. She handles herself well, throwing a drink in his face and walking off, and I thought to myself, please let Tom do something because that was out of line. And he did. He ended up asking all of them, including Carolyn, to leave his boat.

I loved this first movie in the lineup! My only complaint was the song that Cinzia keeps singing throughout the movie – it is total earworm!

Next up is The Awful Truth!

You can find Lisa’s post here! If you want to join in that would be awesome too!

Tuesday Morning Coffee Catch Up

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized18 Comments

Hello everyone! It is a rainy spring day here this morning; I am hoping that we get some sun by afternoon so I can get outside and work on a few more garden beds. If not though, there is always another day! I would be content as well just having school with Wyatt and then reading or playing games for the rest of the afternoon. That works for me too!

So..where to start? I mentioned in my post yesterday that I hit the wall last week. I was just done in. So I rested. And let Wyatt rest too. We did a very unschooling type method for school, without text books or paper or projects. Instead, we read fiction books, poetry (Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats), watched videos and documentaries, and then on the weekend went on a few adventures. It was awesome. I don’t plan on doing that all the time, but it was a good reset that we both needed. Actually, the new history curriculum I purchased for next year has “hygge weeks” built right in a few times during the year, where we are supposed to just read books from the book list. I may need to further adapt this concept into the rest of our schooling because it was really refreshing for a change of pace, and I could see doing it here and there.

Thursday night I spent with my friends, Kelly and Jill. Chrissy joined us via video chat for a little bit, to show off the new baby and chat with everyone. It was time I needed! I haven’t seen my friends in months in person, and wow did I miss them!! It was so nice to sit around and chat and laugh and catch up and drink wine. We also tried to get the stray cats that Kelly feeds to come to us but they were too nervous. This buff colored fellow Kelly has named Pal, and the other is a tabby she named Buddy. They have very elaborate shelters in her yard to keep them warm and they were hanging around their little apartments later that evening. It was cute.

Kelly has been my friend for 20 years and we are like the odd couple. Or Grace and Frankie. She is always prepared and organized and does things on time and is practical, and she rolls her eyes laughingly at me often. I am sharing this because on Wednesday I had to pick my mom up for an appointment but when I got into my car with Wyatt, I had no gas. And also, no debit card or credit card. I broke my own debit card months ago, I didn’t know where our credit card was, and Billy took his own debit card with him that day. So what did I do? I called Kelly to see if I could borrow twenty bucks to put some gas in my car. I felt very cap in hand and silly but also knew that Kelly loves me and would help me even though she would be like “Erin!” so I didn’t feel that embarrassed really. I also knew I had enough gas to get to her house and to the gas station two blocks from her, so it was perfect. Thank God for good friends!

Wyatt has been learning about the state of Maine and I really love to incorporate food and culture in when I can. So I was so excited when I found out about Cousins Maine Lobster! They have a franchise of food trucks across the country, and when I say food truck, I mean like rolling restaurant because that was one giant fancy food truck! The lobster is from Maine, and the menu features the Maine Roll, Connecticut Roll, tater tots, lobster tots, grilled cheese with lobster, whoopie pie (the state treat of Maine!), clam chowder, and lobster bisque – the list goes on. I knew without a doubt that Wyatt would never try lobster or clam chowder, but I knew I could get him to try the whoopie pie. I mean, no one passes up dessert right? So on a very gloomy, cold, rainy afternoon, we drove on over to where the truck was and ordered some culinary delights. Billy and I had originally planned on getting lobster rolls, but we were freezing so we both opted for the bowl of soup instead – lobster bisque for me, clam chowder for Billy. Wyatt got the grilled cheese (no lobster) and tater tots, and then I ordered whoopie pies for the crew! I had planned to get the Maine root soda but they were out so we didn’t get to taste that this time. Next time, because there will be a next time.

We ended up having a car picnic, since it was so cold and wet out. We piled in to the back with our food and just enjoyed it all! It is safe to say that the whoopie pies were a huge hit all around. The lobster bisque was absolutely perfect, and Billy said the clam chowder was the best he had ever had. All around, delicious.

A few weeks ago I learned that Detroit has a floating post office, with it’s own zip code. It delivers mail to freighters, but also will deliver pizzas to boats, and even people, we learned! Wyatt loves the mail and USPS so I made it our mission on Sunday to find this boat. And we did, on a tiny little road on the river. There was a gentleman there waiting to be ferried out to a freighter, and he was telling us that it is his favorite way to get to work. If we had waited an hour or so we could have watched but it was a bit chilly so we will try again another day. However, little man was super excited to just see the boat. We couldn’t go past the fence but we might take Wyatt back during regular hours so he can see inside the building and maybe even a closer look at the boat. You can see Canada and the Ambassador Bridge in the third photo, by the way!

Afterwards we drove around Detroit a bit, around Belle Isle, through the Heidelburg Project, and then got take out from Royale with Cheese in midtown. Then it was time to drop my mom (who was with us for this adventure) off at my brother’s house and then Wyatt and I took a nap while Billy played video games. It was a wonderful way to spend a Sunday.

And phew I feel like I have gone on and on today!

What is going on in your world?