This evening I felt something I haven’t felt for quite a while. Content. Maybe it was the chili bubbling on the stove, the dark night folding our house up, Carol King singing away in the background, the falling snow outside, I don’t know. But there it was finally. Contentment. Peace. It’s been a rough hard year, but today, I felt it. Hope.
Lately, I seem to have grown some solid roots at home. In a previous life, way back in 2019, we would be out and about, going to different events, hanging out with family and friends, enjoying our holiday season in a very social way. And while I miss those times and those PEOPLE, very much, we are having a very quiet season at home right now, leaving only really for our hikes, and Billy to work. I think about how this full moon cycle is the quiet moon, and it makes sense. In the past, no one would have ventured far this time of year, opting to be at home, safe and snug and warm. Kind of like we are doing now. Our evenings are full of hearty warm comfort foods, listening to music, creating, and snuggling up under blankets to watch movies and binge tv, like Edwardian Farm. Wyatt has been spending every evening after dinner these days with his crayons and paper, in the shadow of my Monstera, Goblin, drawing the night away, or flipping through his books. I am working on my own projects, my little gnome trinket tray for Dinogirl, my little peg dolls for my other nieces, Glitzy Girl and JayZ. Billy is usually drawing up ideas and plans for things he wants to build, and we are just all together in our little den, with each other in our own little worlds.
Tonight, I was thinking about Christmas and Christmas carols and how my favorite has changed over the years. When I was younger, I loved Good King Wenceslas. It’s upbeat tempo, its message of helping our neighbor, I just really loved it. But these last few years, my soul is called to O Holy Night. I can’t seem to listen to it without tearing up, every single time. “The thrill of hope, a weary world rejoices/For yonder breaks, a new and glorious morn..” This year, more than any other, these words speak to me so deeply they resonate within. I listen and let the tears flow, quietly. My husband doesn’t laugh or poke fun, just looks at me, touches my hair. He knows what it is like when music grabs you that forcefully.
This year we are supposed to be able to see “the Christmas Star”, Jupiter and Saturn coming close together for the first time since the middle ages, on the night of the Winter Solstice. The longest night of the year, it is also signifies the return of the light to the world after so many months of darkness. And I feel like that, that we are coming out of this darkness. We are not through the woods yet, but we have a light.
Stay safe everyone.