Hello everyone! I really need all the coffee this morning! I got up early and dragged Wyatt and I to an appointment that is tomorrow. Sigh. I need to remember to buy a planner for 2027 that is a Sunday start, because the one I have totally messes with me. I love it except for that.
We had my mother’s memorial service/celebration of life on Saturday. I had been a mess all week, running around trying to get things together, and the morning of I was so afraid no one would come. However, my heart was full as person after person walked into the church, filling the pews to the back. It was such a great outpouring of love for my mother, and I felt the service was beautiful. It was a service full of my mom. We played “Keep Me in Your Heart” by Warren Zevon, “In My Life” by the Beatles, and we had a bagpiper who played “Nearer My God to Thee” and “Amazing Grace”. I managed to get up and speak along with my niece Mermaid Girl, I was so proud of her. We walked up together and gave each other courage and strength. My cousin Brian delivered the eulogy, which was full of music and song that he related to my mother and stories and memories; my cousin Meghan read a poem, “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep”. And so many people got up and spoke! I had not seen that before and was surprised honestly. My mom would have been equally shocked lol. It was very cathartic for me, and I felt so at peace afterwards. As I sat in the church, I felt very enveloped in family and friends. Friends and family who I see and talk to daily, and friends and family that it has been too long since we talked, yet there they all were. It was good.
I didn’t do much talking but I did want to read something from the book The Undead Fox of Deadwood Forest. I told you, that little middle grade book had some very soothing writing about grief. This is what I read:
“Grief is a thing with weight and bulk–perhaps the heaviest thing of all. It pushes at the edge of your soul, forcing it into a different shape. You can never fill it, because it is not empty. And it will not shrink with time. But you can learn to carry it. Practice noticing it less as it becomes a more familiar part of you.
In the end, your grief will always be there, taking up space.
And I suppose that’s the beautiful thing about a soul:
There is infinite space.
You may even find that there is space for more grief. But–this is what I want you to remember–there is room for more joy. And it is your job to open your arms and welcome joy and joy and joy until your grief looks small in comparison.”
This just really spoke to my own grief, yet also gave me hope. It was important for me to say, my mom carried a sadness within her always, but she taught me to see the laughter in the sad moments, the good in the bad. She always made me feel there was hope. And love. Always so much love and joy, music and poetry and dancing.
Afterwards we all headed to the luncheon which was equally full of love and stories. I think just being with other people who loved my mom and missed her and grieved for her was a balm to my heart. I am truly truly blessed with good kind people in my life.
And then I haven’t done much since! In school, I am teaching Wyatt about Sojourner Truth and continuing on with the underground railroad, abolitionism, and then next week the Civil War. We have been painting and reading, we have been practicing his walking, doing his exercises, cuddling cats. Today I hope to get some baking in, I want to make scones but if I don’t, there is always tomorrow.
Some little things that made me smile this week: spotting kittens on a walk, Wyatt’s giant grin at walking to the house the next block over that is super decorated for Halloween, painting this cute bookmark and the way that it peeks over the top of my book, the cool weather, brownies, our Little Free Library getting chosen for two copies of their book club book this month.
And that is it for me today my friends! Thank you to all of you too, who have been commenting supporting and caring words, and messaging me with the same.
I hope that whatever you do today, you do something that makes you smile, even if it is something small.
Your mom sounds like a wonderful person who was loved by many. I love the music you picked and hope my kids would think to choose those things for me. You and Mermaid Girl are a wonderful combination, and I’m sure you both held each other up. I took a screenshot of that passage because it so fully captures exactly what grief is. Time does help, but you will see your mom everywhere…in flowers, food, and books. And, that’s a good thing. Hugs to you, my friend. Love seeing that big grin on Wyatt’s face! He’s come so far!
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She really was such a wonderful woman and mother. And thank you. Music was such a part of her life that I wanted to have her music, you know? Mermaid Girl did so good! I was so proud of her.
That passage came at the perfect time for me. I wouldn’t have paid it as much mind had I read it immediately following her passing, but two months later, I still miss her more than anything but I can see through the tears these days.
And he has! I am so proud of him too!
The comfort of family and friends is a gift 💖
It really is, the best!
Aw, that sounds like such a really sweet and wonderful remembrance/ memorial honoring your mom.
Thank you Joanne. It did turn out really lovely!
Sounds like such a wonderful memorial for you mom❤️
I too have been there where I show up wrong day for an appt or time 😬 happens to the best of us.
Thank you. I was so grateful for everyone there that shared with us. 🙂
I was so bummed I had to get up early again today! LOL.
What good memories you take away from this difficult time—all the support and love from others at the memorial that you did not expect, all the stories others told about your mom.
And I shall save that quote in my daybook.
I really did leave there feeling so full of peace and love. It did feel more like a celebration of her life, and I am so grateful for all the memories that people shared.
Isn’t it such a good one?
I’m so grateful that you shared about your mom’s memorial. It sounds really beautiful and yes, healing, too. I love what you read. I’ve been asked to “emcee” when our friend Mike finally passes. I may share that with his widow to see if she would like it read. I’m glad you have found some little joys this week too. I hope you get good rest. I think you may need it, my friend.
Thank you Jeanie. I thought it turned out very nicely. And it was definitely healing too.
I just read that passage in the book and it just felt so eye opening. And true.
And you are right. I do need some time and rest! Thank you Jeanie.
Such a lovely tribute to your mom and I absolutely love the music selections! I’m so glad you had an ourpouring of love for her that day as so many people showed up for her and for you all.
Great photo of Wyatt. He looks like he’s having a ball. We are seeing more decorations in our neighborhood lately as it’s almost time for the trick-or-treaters.
Thank you so much for that cool card. I love it!
Thank you Tina! It really was such a healing and peaceful service. Warren Zevon (which I chose mind you) just sent me over the edge into sobbing. I love that song and Wyatt has heard it many times, and when it started playing he started singing. It was so sweet.
And thank you! He is loving all of the Halloween stuff and walking so much.
And I am glad you liked it!
Oh friend, that sounds like the most precious and special service to honor your mom <3 I'm so glad there was such a loving turnout for your family. When my granddaddy died, people stood up and spoke about him during the service and even though I was 17, it felt like such a giant HUG to know others were going to miss him too. (That did not happen at the funerals for my grandparents on the other side, and it's a totally different vibe.)
The bookmark is SO cute peeking over your pages! And kittens ALWAYS make me smile 😀 When we're out driving, as I spot a cat "in the wild," I'll call out "kitty!" and Mr laughs at me 🙂
Tremendous hugs and delicious coffee to you, friend <3
Yes! It really was like that, just being around so many people who loved her and miss her as well. I am so glad that you were able to experience that as well!
And thank you! It makes me smile every time I see it. And kittens are the best. I always yell “Kitten!” when I see one too!!
Erin, that was a touching and lovely tribute for your mom. It was obvious she was well loved by the turnout at her memorial. Love the music of Warren Zevon and the Beatles. It was a Warren Zevon album my husband (then boyfriend) noticed flipping through my stacks of vinyl….he had the same album and it wasn’t a widely know one then.
Love that photo of Wyatt. He looks like he’s having a blast!
Thank you so much for that very cool card and letter you sent. Love it, it’s a perfect photo.
Oh what a cool story about your husband and your music! I love that!
The memorial for your mom sounds really nice. And I love that little excerpt from the book, it is really touching. Love the bookmark too! Hope you had a good rest of the week too!
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Thank you Lisa!
I’m so glad your mum’s service went so well, and that you and the rest of your family gained comfort from that.
Thank you Liz.