When you have a toddler, life goes on. Even on those days you don’t feel like doing a single thing, you get up, run a straight iron through your tangled hair, pull on your Converse and do what you gotta do.

Halloween is my favorite holiday – I say that a lot. I want to make the holiday fun and magical for my son, so this year I went a little crazy and lined up what seems like a million fun activities to do. Saturday was definitely worth it. Our local MetroPark, Oakwoods, holds  Evening Lantern Tours for people 10 and up every year, where they “haunt” the woods in the nature center. We haven’t been to that in a while, but after attending the little kids version with our little dude, we are putting it on the list for next year as a date night. We took W. to the Kids, Candy and Costumes event which was awesome. By far the cheapest activity we have been to (just $5~), it was also one of the most fun.

This is a definite redo next year. I thought it was very well done and the kids loved tromping through the woods in their costumes.

The following day we were at the cider mill, to meet up with cousins and kids. It was memories, as when my cousins and I were children, we all went to this particular cider mill together, a and would carve pumpkins and each chili afterwards. Now we are all grown up, with our own kids, so it was cool to be able to continue the tradition. It was hot as midsummer that day too – I even got a sunburn. However the weather the rest of this week has been dreary- but fall!

Last week my grandmother passed away, in the wee early hours of the morning. She was an amazing lady, who was a tiny little force to be reckoned with, wrapped up in a five foot tall package. She was independent, fierce, with a sly, quick wit. She was generous, and kind, and never let you leave her house without at least something to take with you, from a cookie to a magazine to who knows what. You were not allowed to leave empty-handed. Creative and artistic, she painted, made things with stained glass, drew, knitted hats for children who had no warm clothes, knitted hats for my own child. She was a spitfire, who probably taught me how to swear, and she never backed down from a fight. She could cook up a storm, and made the best rice pudding. I remember winters, sitting in her kitchen, steam heating the room and fogging the windows, and being served creamy delicious rice pudding that she had made. It is one of those flavors that take you back in time, like Proust’s Madelines. She loved lemon meringue, and lemon flavored desserts, just like me, and my brother, and my son. We like things tart, I guess.

Her name was Marion, and she was my last remaining grandparent. I should feel blessed that I am the age I am now, just now losing my last grandparent. And I do. But you are never ready. And my grandma had a sense of invincibility about her.

It is the first time I have had to grieve, while caring for a child. I got the news on Friday, and then was alone all day with my son. It’s hard to be heartbroken and care for a child. In reverse though, it’s hard to be heartbroken and care for a child. Does that make sense? It was hard, but at the same time, being around my son made it a little easier, with his sunny smile. He is only 2, and won’t remember her, like I remember my great-grandma and great-grandpa. That will be up to me. And my brother and my father and my mother and stepmother, my cousin and aunt, to share our stories. And goodness knows, there are enough of them. She had a lot of living in her life, and many stories to share. I will miss her terribly.