Category: Uncategorized

Thursday Morning/Afternoon Coffee Catch Up

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized11 Comments

Hi everyone!! It’s been hot as blazes around here lately! Summer has arrived with a fury apparently, and I am not ready.

My heart and prayers go out to all of those who have been affected by the tornadoes; the loss of lives and devastation they are leaving behind is heartbreaking.

Things have been chaotic around here. We have two huge projects going on right now, in addition to our normal life stuff, and on top of that, Wyatt is still not tolerating his medication and we spend the first four hours of the day with a kiddo who is very nauseated and vomiting. We have been in contact with all of his doctors though, and there is a plan. It is just going to take time and use the process of elimination to see which medicine in the culprit. In the meantime, Wyatt and I have been spending a lot of time on the couch or in the bedroom in the mornings – most of the time with him resting his head on me and me just being a momma, trying to help my kiddo the best I can.

As for our projects, we are in the process of starting our cub scout troop and at the same time Billy is building Wyatt’s wheelchair ramp on the weekends and evenings. It is all sort of triggering me as I am used to my routine and with everything in a kerfuffle all the time I have to take lots of deep breaths, drink lots of tea, and find time to decompress (usually at night watching a show with Billy).

Let’s talk about the wheelchair ramp project first~ the window into a door. This felt so meaningful to me, as Wyatt has had a lifetime of windows and no doors. Now, with this door, he will be gaining independence and freedom of movement out of the house, under his own power. Or he will once the ramp is done. But this is the first step and to me it felt so huge.

Wyatt helped us pick the door, and I love it. I love the wavy weird glass ~ it casts beautiful rainbows on the hallway floor in the evening, and it feels sort of cozy when you are in the room, despite the gigantic mess of debris and my possessions pushed to one side of the office. It will be even better once the office is put to rights, which should be soon – after Billy finishes the trim, plasters, and paints… lol. Luna my leopard gecko will be happy once Billy is finished in there as well. Her little quiet peaceful world has been full of activity and even worse, loud noises and she does not like it. Her tank is just too big and heavy to move; Harlow, my pictus gecko I was able to relocate, but Luna had to stay. Miso will be happy too when the room is back to normal, as she likes to nap in the rays of afternoon sun in there and she hasn’t been able to.

The second project is one I am spearheading, the Cub Scouts! Billy is going to be the Cub Master, and I am the Pack Committee Chair, which is a fancy way to say that I do all the paperwork and behind the scenes administration. The other night I had a meeting with the vestry at my church to ask them to be our Chartering Organization (every pack/troop has to have one) and while I was quite nervous as I am quite shy in person, it went very well. They happily agreed and they are even donating to the pack to get the kids off to a good start. I am super excited.

Tonight we have a local art exhibition to attend! I submitted some of Billy’s tiny little “nature under glass” creations to an art exhibit made for it ~ Pocket Sized. It’s in the evening and Wyatt should have rallied by then, and it will be good to get him out of the house for an hour. Plus it’ll be nice for him to see the artwork, especially since he is a little artist himself. You will be able to view the exhibit online, starting tomorrow (I think)!

So it’s a bit wild around here right now! Hopefully we get some relief for my kiddo, that is the biggest concern right now for me. I did surprise him with something he has been wanting though – an aquarium. We got a little surprise insurance check refund and he has been asking and I thought this kid has to lay around for 4-5 hours a day right now, he might as well have something pretty and calming and something he wanted right? I will 100% be the person caring for it and that is fine, especially when it makes my kiddo smile like this.

And now some random photos…

And I forgot to tell you about my dad’s birthday!! I will do a mini post tomorrow for that. 🙂 Have a good one everyone.

Top Ten Tuesday!

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized29 Comments

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl!

This week’s prompt is:

 Authors I’d Love a New Book From (These could be authors that have passed away, who have retired from writing, who have inexplicably gone quiet, or who might jut not be able to keep up with how quickly you read their books!)

So some of these writers just don’t write as fast as I can read them, although they are pretty quick and prolific. I just want them to churn them out I guess! Karen White, I am waiting for your next book in the Royal Street series! I feel like it has been forever! Although, it really hasn’t been that long. Not as long as I waited for Emily Croy Barker’s next book however! I read The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Real Magic in 2013 and loved it so much, then I had to wait 8 years until the next book came out! Now I don’t even remember too much about the first one, and it is such a chunky book that I am not sure I can read it all over again. So I haven’t gotten to the second one. It just took too long. Lydia Kang is not too bad, but the wait always feels immense and I love her books, especially A Beautiful Poison, which is my favorite by her. The same for Shea Ernshaw and Erin A. Craig – they actually write fairly quickly but if they could release books as quickly as Stephen King that would be great. Kate Racculia, she is sort of dragging her feet on another book. I read Tuesday Mooney back in 2019 and am patiently waiting for another. Obviously though life can get in the way of writing. I know that Sarah Addison Allen took a long time off after her mother got sick, and so I often think about that when I am waiting for a new book by a favorite author to come out, that maybe there is something going on in their life. Jane Johnson is a new to me author, and The White Hare was one of my very favorite books in 2022. I can’t wait for another book by her to come out, and I am hoping it is one that is similar to The White Hare. Her writing actually reminds of the authors I am about to talk about, Barbara Michaels and Mary Stewart.

Barbara Michaels and Mary Stewart are two writers who have passed but I would love to read a new book by them. Their books are huge comfort reads for me, and my copies are very well loved. I just love their slight romance, the folklore and history, the gothicness of them. (is that a word?) I can just about always pick one of their books up and read it, and it is sad to think there will never be a new one. They were both very prolific in life though, so I am lucky to have a wealth of their books to read!

Sunday-Monday Post

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized16 Comments

My Sunday Post is hosted by Kimba the Caffeinated Book Reviewer

Sunday Salon is hosted by Deb at Readerbuzz

It’s Monday! What Are You Reading? is hosted by Kathryn at Book Date

Hello everyone! I hope you are all having a nice weekend! We celebrated my dad’s birthday today and it was the perfect weather for him – sunny and in the 80s!

Read Last Week:

It’s been a little rough around here lately; Wyatt has not been tolerating some of his epilepsy medicine very well and it has been rocky. This book was perfect for winding down with. It felt less fluffy than other cozies, and I loved Oliver the corgi. I want one so bad but our life is not conducive to a dog right now so I have to live vicariously through books and tv.

Reading This Week:

I started listening to this book last year and I enjoyed it so much that I decided I wanted to read the print version instead. I am super weird, I know. Then I never got to it. Well, Billy just listened to it and wants me to finish it so we can talk about it, which I am happy to do.

Posted Last Week:

Top Ten Tuesday – Quotes

Coffee Catch Up

In Our Homeschool

Watching:

Billy and I have been watching When Calls the Heart – I still have lots of thoughts about this whole situation with Elizabeth. Hmmph. We are also watching the newest season of the Brokenwood Mysteries. It is such a good show.

And that is that from here today! I hope you are all doing something that makes you smile!

Book Haul!

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized18 Comments

Lately I have been adding books to our home library left and right! Used book sales, used bookstores, a bunch I bought at independent bookstore day, a free one from the doctor’s office, a free book from The Good and the Beautiful, and of course books I bought from Amazon – and one book that I got as a gift for Mother’s Day from Billy and Wyatt. I don’t usually buy books too often, we are huge library users, so this has been a lot of fun, splurging on books here and there.

Let’s start with the books for Wyatt, and then we will move on to my much smaller pile for myself.

As you can see, he was a very happy helper.

Magic by the Lake by Edward Eager || The Moffats by Eleanor Estes || The Secret Door by Jenny Phillips Key to the Treasure by Peggy Parish

We have slowly been collecting the Edward Eager books, as well as books by Eleanor Estes. I have been on the lookout for Carol Ryrie Brink books (besides Caddie Woodlawn) and I can’t find them anywhere for a reasonable price, so if you see them, let me know! I also have been on the lookout for vintage Nancy Drew because Lisa is collecting them.

Wyatt also chose:

Misty of Chincoteague by Marguerite Henry || Old Wolf by Avi (if there is a wolf, Wyatt has to have it) Half Magic by Edward Eager || The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster

And then a new one that I surprised him with, because it reminded me of Watership Down a bit. He is not ready for Watership Down and I thought this one would be fun to read with him instead.

The Remarkable Rescue at Milkweed Meadow by Elaine Dimopoulos

He made my heart glad that he also really loved the map at the beginning of the book. I love a map in a book too!

And now it is my turn!

What Lives in the Woods by Lindsay Currie || At the Pond || Wolfsong by TJ Klune

Gladwynn Grant Takes Center Stage by Lisa Howeler || The Darling Buds of May by H.E. Bates || The Phantom of Pine Hill by Carolyn Keene

And looky there, a vintage Nancy Drew! After looking for weeks, I found some! I was so excited when I found them on Independent Bookstore Day. I texted Lisa and asked her if she wanted me to pick a few out for her and she immediately sent money via PayPal. Lol. And since I was grabbing a few for her, I picked one out for myself. This cover would never fly these days. It is so weird to see these types of things now that we know better!

And finally, my Mother’s Day book! I probably told Billy a million times that I wanted this copy of Watership Down, and he very sweetly listened. I have begun collecting different versions and this one is just so pretty to me! I love it!

And my wild book shopping spree is over for a little bit- I have enough to read for a long while!

Wednesday Morning Coffee Catch Up

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized14 Comments

Hello everyone! Happy midweek! Why do I feel like I have already lived an entire week already and it is only Wednesday morning? I must be tired this morning!

So if you caught my posts last week about Wyatt, you know we were in the hospital and kiddo had numerous tests due to some unexplained vomiting he was having. For Wyatt the biggest symptom he has when his shunt is malfunctioning is throwing up, so if he vomits more than once, we need to go to the ER. That all happened last week, and then even after being home this past week he has continued to have mornings where he throws up. I realized that there is a pattern, and it is always around the same time. It appears that on mornings Wyatt doesn’t eat enough for breakfast, his morning meds are making him sick. But it is super hard to convince a 9 year old to eat when they don’t want to, and while I explain to him why it is so important, I can only do so much. If anyone has any experience with medication and nausea, and has any other tips besides holding my child down and force feeding him (joke obviously) I would love to hear them! Right now we are having moderate success and it is interfering with school and therapy, not to mention I just hate him being sick.

However, there have been good moments! For one, I got to see the Northern Lights when they came far enough south on a cloudless night last Friday. It has always been one of my top bucket list items and I am so thankful to have seen them. The sky was a gorgeous shade of pink, and while I couldn’t see them perfectly due to light pollution I could see them better with the night mode camera setting on my phone (thanks Michigan Storm Chasers for this tip!) I didn’t get the most dramatic pictures but I could see them, and felt rather blessed to have been able to do so, even just a little.

Mother’s Day was a simple day but a very nice one. I slept in and Billy got up with Wyatt (who gets up with the dawn, I am not kidding lol) I had a tasty blueberry muffin for breakfast, and my guys gave me my gifts – a new copy of Watership Down for my collection and the cutest little custom made Lego, made to look like Wyatt. I love how this Lego Wyatt has a paintbrush in his hand with green paint – my favorite color and Wyatt’s favorite activity! There is a little wheelchair that is still on the way too. It is just the cutest little gift from Wyatt.

We met up with my own mom and my brother and his family, and my SIL’s mother for ice cream later that afternoon. It was a gorgeous day out! My brother and I took our mom for a drive while Billy and Wyatt went to Billy’s mom’s house. I just had Devin drop me off there after we dropped off our mom. The three of us had a nice drive. I had a delicious Cobb Salad for dinner, and we called it a night. Simple day, lovely day.

I have also been rolling along with getting our Cub Scout pack up and running. Billy and I had a meeting last night with the Executive Director and the Special Needs Coordinator over dinner and while I feel absolutely submerged in information, I can see it all coming together and I am very excited. And nervous, to be quite honest! I really want this to work out for Wyatt’s sake and for the other kids, and is a huge project on my heart right now.

We are also getting ready to take a month long break from school. We have already slowed down quite a bit, and then we will be taking all of June off. Wyatt has RicStar Music Camp in June, as well as a 48 hour EEG, and Billy will be working on the wheelchair ramp as well. It is just going to be a very busy month and it seems like a great place to take a break. We will pick up again after the 4th of July, school for about 6 weeks, then have a bit of a break at the end of August until the beginning of September – which is also when I am planning on actually starting our Scouts pack officially.

So that is where we are now in our lives. How are things with you?

(and now just some random photos from the camera roll)

Top Ten Tuesday – Quotes

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized29 Comments

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl!

This week is all about our favorite book quotes! I have more quotes than books; some books just needed more space on here I guess.

First up is Watership Down, with multiple quotes. My favorite book of all time!

“Many human beings say that they enjoy the winter, but what they really enjoy is feeling proof against it.”
― Richard Adams, Watership Down

“To come to the end of a time of anxiety and fear! To feel the cloud that hung over us lift and disperse—the cloud that dulled the heart and made happiness no more than a memory! This at least is one joy that must have been known by almost every living creature.”
― Richard Adams, Watership Down

“Men will never rest till they’ve spoiled the earth and destroyed the animals.”
― Richard Adams, Watership Down

Ok, I will move on now.

“So we dream on. Thus we invent our lives. We give ourselves a sainted mother, we make our father a hero; and someone’s older brother and someone’s older sister – they become our heroes too. We invent what we love and what we fear. There is always a brave lost brother – and a little lost sister, too. We dream on and on: the best hotel, the perfect family, the resort life. And our dreams escape us almost as vividly as we can imagine them… That’s what happens, like it or not. And because that’s what happens, this is what we need: we need a good, smart bear… Coach Bob knew it all along: you’ve got to get obsessed and stay obsessed. You have to keep passing the open windows.”
― John Irving, The Hotel New Hampshire

“This place has atmosphere, different from a bookshop with just new books. In here you sense the weight of time, stretching way back to the past.”
― Michiko Aoyama, What You Are Looking for is in the Library

“Hate is loud, but I think you’ll learn it’s because it’s only a few people shouting, desperate to be heard. You might not ever be able to change their minds, but so long as you remember you’re not alone, you will overcome.” – TJ Klune, The House in the Cerulean Sea

“When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time—the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes—when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever—there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.”
― John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany

I am adding some in from The Last Unicorn as I am reading and annotating this book right now. I have always loved the book and the movie, ever since seeing it as a child.

“Unicorns are immortal. It is their nature to live alone in one place: usually a forest where there is a pool clear enough for them to see themselves-for they are a little vain, knowing themselves to be the most beautiful creatures in all the world, and magic besides. They mate very rarely, and no place is more enchanted than one where a unicorn has been born. The last time she had seen another unicorn the young virgins who still came seeking her now and then had called to her in a different tongue; but then, she had no idea of months and years and centuries, or even of seasons. It was always spring in her forest, because she lived there, and she wandered all day among the great beech trees, keeping watch over the animals that lived in the ground and under bushes, in nests and caves, earths and treetops. Generation after generation, wolves and rabbits alike, they hunted and loved and had children and died, and as the unicorn did none of these things, she never grew tired of watching them.”
― Peter S. Beagle , The Last Unicorn

“Farewell,’ she said. ‘I hope you hear many more songs’ – which was the best way she could think of to say good-bye to a butterfly.”
― Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn

“The true secret in being a hero lies in knowing the order of things. The swineherd cannot already be wed to the princess when he embarks on his adventures, nor can the boy knock on the witch’s door when she is already away on vacation. The wicked uncle cannot be found out and foiled before he does something wicked. Things must happen when it is time for them to happen. Quests may not simply be abandoned; prophecies may not be left to rot like unpicked fruit; unicorns may go unrescued for a very long time, but not forever. The happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story.”
― Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn

I wouldn’t say these quotes (except for the Watership Down ones) are my top ten favorites of all time, but these are the ones I was feeling this week. Have you read any of these books? Are you an annotator? It is something I just started doing and I am really enjoying it.

My Sunday-Monday Post

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized14 Comments

My Sunday Post is hosted by Kimba the Caffeinated Book Reviewer

Sunday Salon is hosted by Deb at Readerbuzz

It’s Monday! What Are You Reading? is hosted by Kathryn at Book Date

Hello everyone. It has been a WEEK. Like, seriously, I am so tired. However, as long and tough as this week was all the news from it ended up being good. Wyatt was in the hospital in the ER and underwent a ton of testing – xrays, an MRI, an EKG, and finally a 24 hour EEG. We had mostly good results except the EEG but it gave us good information for us to work with so there is that at least. The rest of the week was stressful but here we are…on the other side, right? And that is what is important. And my kiddo is smiling and excited to paint this afternoon.

Read Last Week:

So I love this cover so much! And I loved the TV show The Larkins so much too. But this book was a bit weird and not as charming as how the characters were portrayed on the show. The characters were just not as likeable in the book, which made me sad! Plus the writing was a little gross at times especially with the descriptions of Ma Larkin and her body shape.

Reading This Week:

I am really looking forward to reading this cozy mystery. I need some cozy right now! Lisa from Boondock Ramblings sent me a copy of this book as a gift and I am hoping to settle in with it very soon. I love corgis!!

Posted Last Week:

Top Ten Tuesday – May Flowers

Tuesday/Wednesday Coffee Catch Up – All About Wyatt’s Visit

A Very Personal Post – May is Mental Health Awareness Month

Books and Tom Petty Songs

Watching:

When Calls the Heart. I knew I was saving those new episodes for a reason! When I get stressed When Calls the Heart is the only show I want to watch. And yay I had new episodes to watch.

And that my friends is it from me this week! A very short little post! I hope all is well in your worlds!

Books and Tom Petty Songs

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized8 Comments

Tom Petty songs and characters from classic literature may not seem to go together… and maybe they don’t. Lol. But I was inspired to write this post the other day when Marsha from Marsha in the Middle visited my blog on Top Ten Tuesday expecting to see a post about Tom Petty (and it wasn’t). And I thought, hmm. Could I make a bookish Tom Petty post? Well, I was going to try! These may not be perfect but this was definitely a lot of fun. My cousin Brian and Billy both helped me with this, and they also thought it was fun! I hope that you do as well.

This post does contain some Amazon Affiliate links.

First up, my favorite character from my favorite classic book. (Well, other than Anne Shirley and Anne of Green Gables..)

Jane Eyre and Learning to Fly

And now Anne….

Anne Shirley and Wildflowers

And of course we can’t forget the famous Jane Austen heroine, Elizabeth Bennett…

Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice and I Won’t Back Down

Now, Billy thinks we need to add some male characters to this lineup. This next one is his suggestion and song choice! For this “album cover” I have used an image from an audiobook, since Billy is a huge audiobook listener.

John Willoughby from Sense and Sensibility and Free Falling

And now one we all know and love, Jo March.

Jo March from Little Women and American Girl

We need another guy up on stage – let’s call Atticus Finch on up! His character is such a favorite of mine that Atticus is actually Wyatt’s middle name! (one of them – he has two..)

Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird and The Last DJ

And, you know what, let’s add Mr. Darcy too but let’s give him his own album cover at least.

Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice and You Don’t Know How It Feels

I would love to hear any suggestions or your comments or any character and song pairings that you can think of! And actually, I am going to make a public Spotify playlist and I will add all songs that are suggested here for a character to it! Don’t worry about a classic book character pairing – I will accept any and all character and song/artist suggestions! I am excited now to see what you all say!

A Very Personal Post -May is Mental Health Awareness Month

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn metal health, Uncategorized12 Comments

Hey guys. I am always very upfront in this space about my own struggles with anxiety, and I wanted to share a very personal and serious post again (two days in a row!) I know so many people who struggle and while we all walk different paths and have different journeys and solutions it is always good to know that we are not alone in feeling this way.

2023 was very rough for me. Wyatt had a difficult year medically, and so did I. The medication I was taking to help me with anxiety ended up landing me in the hospital, and after that I was too nervous to take anything else, which ended up being NOT the best thing for me. I continued to feel worse and worse everyday, for months and months on end. I struggled to stay present in my life. I was doing all the things I needed to do, but minus the “me” if that makes sense.

I started therapy in the fall which was helpful, but that therapist was not the perfect therapist for me. In fact, she even told me at one point that she didn’t think she could help me and didn’t seem interested in scheduling new appointments. So, I stopped the visits and went back to trying to manage on my own, which was not great.

At the beginning of the year, a friend told me that her wish for us was for us to feel better this year, and control our anxiety even if that meant taking medicine. And I decided I was going to take the reins again. I tried a new, different therapist and this time, the therapist and I clicked. During my first visit she asked me though what goals I had for myself, and where I fit in in my own life. What I did for me, just me. And quite frankly, I didn’t have answers for any of this. No goals for myself. None. And as for what I did for me, the answer was the same. Nothing. Put that way, in plain sight, admitting it to myself, was eye-opening and sort of scary. My therapist began working with me on reframing my thoughts, and opening my mind up to more forward thinking about the future., to unstick my brain from where it was. She had me write a list of 101 things to do be see and experience, which I started but still have to finish – that is a lot of stuff! She encouraged me to make a journal of my victories, even tiny ones, everyday. And she told me a few very important things in a way that stuck with me and made sense to my brain.

  • That my brain is just a recording and playback device, and I need to tell it no brain, that scenario is not the only one. It might have happened that way once before, but there is more than one way this can play out.
  • My mind thinks it knows what will happen, but it doesn’t – since it hasn’t happened yet.
  • Finally, that I spend time thinking about the worst case scenario, and I need to give equal time to thinking about the best case scenario and then the most likely scenario.

These three things and telling myself to think about this when I get anxious, helped immensely. It is weird, but I don’t know everything that is going to happen even though apparently my brain thinks it does. Hmm. Lol.

That particular therapist was amazing, and I randomly found her just by going to my insurance’s app and choosing an appointment with someone. Her first name is Grace, so that is why I picked her over the others that were available. It seemed like a nice safe name, a reassuring one. I was led in the right direction because she changed my world.

I also decided to try medicine one more time. This time, my doctor and I had a very good conversation about my apprehensions and she ended up prescribing a medication that was a life-saver. She told me that all of her patients who have anxiety love it, and I was pretty skeptical. But, I told myself I was doing this, and I was all in this time. I was giving this a real try for me and for my family. When I first started the meds, I was so tired. I slept for two days. (I started on a weekend so that Billy would be home since it was a new medicine). I wanted to quit, but I didn’t. The next four days I was tired, but not to the point where I slept for two days straight. I was functioning but I did give Wyatt and I the week off of school and let him watch lots of tv, which I don’t really do. I felt super guilty but Billy told me to think of it like I was physically ill and to give myself…grace. So I listened and kept going. By the end of the week, I was no longer sleepy tired, and every day I felt better and better. I began to feel like myself again. Now, a few months in, I feel like I am back to me. I still have anxiety, obviously, but it doesn’t eat away at me constantly. I had reached a point where I turned to Billy one day and said “I can no longer live like this, and I don’t know what to do.” I knew I had to take control so that I could be the person I needed to be for him, for Wyatt – and for me. I always leave myself out of the equation, and that is one thing I have been slowly trying to do.

I went to a luncheon at Wyatt’s clinic for moms of special needs kids the other day. It was a fun afternoon away, but one thing that stuck with me was something the social worker told us all to do. She said she knows our lives are different and hard and we may not have lots of time for ourselves, but that we needed to find a few minutes everyday that are just for us. She suggested making a box that we can pull out with some items in it that comfort us and bring us some joy, and encouraged us to make time that way. Just a few minutes, somewhere in our day, for us. And lately I have been trying to make this time, these box moments although I am not doing that yet. I am taking the time to paint my nails fun colors every week. I also now have a morning and nightly ritual to take care of me, and that is my skin care routine. It may sound so weird, but self-care for me was super basic. Like if I could squeeze the time in, I would do it. Now, I am prioritizing more than a ten minute shower. Every morning and every night, I am washing my face, and now I have a whole routine I do. In the mornings, I cleanse and tone and apply hyaluronic acid and add my moisturizer and spf. At night, it changes but it also has multiple steps. And it is so helpful to my mental health. Actually yesterday, the next morning after spending time at the hospital with Wyatt, I asked Billy if he could stay with Wyatt so I could do my morning routine, even though I knew he was leaving for work. At first he said no, he had to go to work, and I started to cry. Don’t judge him too harshly though, it was a rough time for us both emotionally and we were trying to cope in our own ways. Him through work and me reaching out for my time too. I just wanted him to stay an extra ten minutes so that I didn’t need to worry Wyatt was going to vomit while I was out of the room, but his mind was elsewhere. Once he thought about it for more than ten seconds he was instantly apologetic and went and got me a towel and told me to take a shower and do my thing, that it was ok. He could be late.

So all of these things combined are helping me, in addition to my faith and church and the support I have been given from my family and friends . You all know who you are! This is my journey and I really hope that if you are out there struggling and feeling sort of hopeless, that you are not alone. I hope that you will find the path that makes you feel well again and brings you out of the fear and darkness, and I know how very hard and scary that can be, both to live that way and to take steps forward. If you feel you are ready to take that step but are unsure of where to go, talk to your doctor. Talk to someone close. Talk to a therapist. Find someone that clicks. And keep trying and don’t give up. Remember your brain does not know everything even when it is telling you it has all the answers.

Tuesday/Wednesday Coffee Catch Up

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn Uncategorized18 Comments

Hello everyone! It has been a doozy of a few days.

(written Tuesday evening – posted Wednesday morning)

On Sunday, I wrote my little Sunday-Monday post and then headed off to church like normal. This time however while I was gone, Wyatt started throwing up. Normal kid stuff usually, but for Wyatt it automatically means a trip to the ER to check his VP shunt. I hurried home and jumped from my car to Billy’s, where Wyatt and Billy were waiting for me so we could drive straight to the ER at Mott’s Children’s in Ann Arbor. Wyatt was triaged pretty quickly once there and were shown to a room.

They gave him Zofran, and sent him for his shunt survey – x-rays of his head and torso, then an MRI. Wyatt hates getting an MRI to the point where he fights like his entire life depends on it. Billy actually has to ride into the MRI machine with him, and holds him down. Afterwards, Wyatt settles down pretty quickly but that 5 minutes is so long for us all. We received the results pretty quickly as well! And, it was all good on the shunt side. His shunt was intact, no kinks, and his ventricles in his brain were decompressed and not enlarged. Wyatt also gets enlarged ventricles when his shunt is malfunctioning. So, they moved on to the next phase, the fact that he had a seizure right before throwing up. He was scheduled for an EEG in June (and still is) but they thought we were there so why not get a head start on it. So, in came the EEG team, Wyatt’s hair was twisted into tiny ponytails and the leads were placed in between the short little shoots of hair. Then the final wrap of gauze and tape, and we were ready for his EEG. All this time we were still in the ER, where we stayed until we were discharged 30 hours later.

Through this whole ordeal, Wyatt was a little charmer, making the staff laugh with his jokes and by being a super helper, helping to put the seizure pads in place, putting tape on the gauze wrap on his head, and trying to tape his o2 monitor to his toe. We had a restless night of sleep, with the team popping in all night to fix his EEG leads and all was going well the next morning. Until he threw up again! Up until this point, neurology believed that the emetic episode was a post-seizure episode (after the shunt was ruled out). At this point, we had to just believe it was something else, perhaps a little stomach bug instead. However, we still had to rule all of that out first so that we didn’t miss something important. I would rather them do that then say stomach bug and then have something happen.

The EEG did produce results that said Wyatt was having breakthrough seizures despite his medication increase a few weeks ago. So they further increased his meds, and we go see his doctor in June, and then later that month, have another 24-48 hour EEG. So, lots of good information came from the visit, it was just very long and exhausting for all of us, especially my kiddo.

Those are the happy, tired faces of two people who were just told they could go home. Poor Billy had actually gotten up in the morning after a terrible night’s sleep in one of those hospital room sleeping chairs (if you know you know) and went to work. He was actually on the way back to the hospital after work when Wyatt and I got the good news! So when he got there we only had to wait for all the i’s to be dotted and t’s to be crossed and then we went home, with a very very happy boy. He cheered when we got in the car, and then when we pulled up into the driveway. Billy and I felt the same way, so happy to be home and so relieved, and exhausted as the adrenaline and anxiety of the last 30 hours wore off.

Update – Tuesday we spent just relaxing and trying to recuperate, except for Billy who went to work. Our internet was down though and I didn’t have access to my phone because I turned it into a hotspot so that Wyatt could watch tv as he rested. He was very tired at the beginning of the day but in good spirits, and by evening he seemed much more like his normal little self. Today, I am going to have us take it easy but also add in a little schoolwork and one errand. Slow little baby steps!

And that is it for the moment! I hope you are all doing great!