Chit Chat Coffee Time

On By Erin @ Cracker Crumb LifeIn chit chat coffee time, day in the life, special needs child

This week was a week of reunions. On Tuesday, my little group of friends got together in person for the first time since last fall – thank goodness it is now warm enough to do so! We were down a person in our crew who couldn’t make it which was a bummer, but the three of us who were there were just talking and laughing the whole time and it filled my soul. I went home feeling so refreshed – these women are so important to me and I was so glad to be able to hang out with them again.

Then later in the week, my brother and I tore off the band-aid and got together. So, on Thursday I got to see a sight that brought tears to my eyes. My son and my niece reunited, playing and laughing and giggling together, as they played pirates and got into general mayhem together. Then, on Friday, I went and picked my mom up and we hung out. She and Wyatt had such a blast – reading books, playing on the floor, singing. I got to show her my newly remodeled office, and introduce her to our menagerie of critters. Harry even came out of his hide to see what was going on, and as a nocturnal gecko he usually sleeps during the day.

Marlow was also happy to see my mom.

This week I have also been busy looking through the new curriculum I purchased for Wyatt for next year. Can I say I am super excited about it too? There is a whole unit on rocks and minerals that I can’t wait to “dig” into with him – I even learned of two places to take him next year as little field trips as part of this unit, the Fossil Park in Sylvania, OH, which is about an hour away, and then there is another place about four hours north of us that we may plan an overnight trip around. I am genuinely looking forward to starting next year.

This actually came up when I was hanging out on Tuesday with my friends. None of them homeschool, or want to homeschool, which I get. It’s not for everyone. It is the right thing for my family though, at least right now. And we are enjoying it. My friend said something though that gave me an existential crisis for a few days though – totally well meaning, of course, she loves me, but she said she doesn’t want me to lose my identity and who I am, as I am not just a homeschool mom. I went home and have been thinking all week about just who I am. I came to the conclusion that no, I am not “just a homeschool mom” but yes, it is a big part of my identity right now. I am a mom. I love homeschooling Wyatt, and shaping his education. But the rest of me is the same – I am the same person that I always have been. My priorities might be different, but that happened when I became a mother. I’m still a reader, an animal lover, a nature enthusiast; I’m still painfully shy unless I am with people I am comfortable with, a cheerleader for those people that I love, but also very blunt and plain speaking. I’m a fixer, a problem solver. Curious, creative, with a quick temper at times that I have spent the past few years working on. I still am a daydreamer who wants a few acres of land with animals and bees and an orchard, to travel and see different places. It’s a weird thing to think about . How do we define ourselves? By our likes and dislikes? Our personality? We are more than what we do, that is for sure. My husband is more than a computer guy. One of my friends more than a respiratory therapist, another more than a stay-at-home mom. Anyway, just something I have been lightly pondering this week. Lol.

We also celebrated my mom’s birthday this week! We went to my brother’s where the kids happily played outside and the rest of us chatted and hung out. I am in love with this photo of Wyatt – he looks so happy and content here. Plus I love those overalls I bought him to play in. I got them at a work wear store online, and they are so well made. And most importantly, have reinforced back pockets which we need for our kid who scoots around on his bottom most of the time right now while we work on walking! I can’t even tell you how many pairs of pants we go through in the summer…

Anyway – I have probably rattled on enough for today. What is going on with you guys?

17 thoughts on “Chit Chat Coffee Time”

  2. I’m so glad you are finally able to see friends and family. It makes such a huge difference, doesn’t it? It’s like a light has come on in a very dark room. That’s joy.

    An interesting pondering about identity. Sometimes our work does seem to take over who we are — not permanently, of course, but there are responsibilities, deadlines, rules or whatever that go with it. But you are right — we are all so much more than our jobs. I confess, there have been many positive things about the pandemic for me — things I’m not sure I want to change. Do I want to return to book club? I like these women (more than the books, sometimes) but there are so many and it’s almost overstimulating. I want to be with a few people I really like most and care about. Things like that evolve and I’m not sure I would have discovered it without the pandemic.

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    1. It makes such a huge difference, and you are right, it IS like a light has come on.

      And I agree! Our jobs are part of our identity for sure! Before Wyatt being a library para was a huge part of my life and who I was – also my time as a photographer. Although I still like to think of myself as a photographer. 🙂

      And I too, want to leave some things behind as we move on out of this pandemic. I have learned maybe I don’t want to return to some things as well. 🙂

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  5. That was an interesting comment your friend made. Raising your child should be the parents #1 priority and homeschooling your son is obviously a choice you made because you feel it’s best for him. You said you enjoy homeschooling him so I see that as a win-win.

    I’m not a mom so I don’t know, but it would seem to me that the mom’s who lose their identity and who they are are the ones who have kids and then find out they hate their lives with kids. If that makes any sense.

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    1. I absolutely love homeschooling him. We have so much fun and I love watching him learn. I actually just love everything about it. And Wyatt is for sure my number #1 priority. I think she just worries that I will…hmm. That I won’t think about myself at all? Does that make sense? I know you are a caregiver as well, and how that is the best feeling in the world but also can be very isolating and some days, hard. I think she just doesn’t want me to get too burnt out?

      I agree! I think the parents who lose their identity when they become parents are the ones who find out their life is not the same with kids, and don’t really like the change. As an older parent, I was ready for this change – my crazy wild days were far behind me! I feel like as people we are constantly evolving, and this is who I am now. I am not that same person I was twenty years ago for sure. And that is perfectly fine with me. I wouldn’t want to be that person anymore. I love the life I have now, including the ups and downs. 🙂

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  6. I had a friend who looked me straight in the eye one day and told me God had determined I was to be a mother and that’s it. She was tired of me and another friend looking for jobs or wanting to be photographers or artists or anything else, even though she was also a mother and got to do those things. The difference was, I guess, that she did part of it at a Christian school and only had one child. I have two and the other friend had five. Her calling was much more holy than ours, I suppose, because she was allowed to be a mom and an artist for Christian children, but we were to stay home, raise our children and have no other goals. it was so strange. I have no idea where she got this message but I don’t believe it was from God, as she claimed.

    I have no idea what she is doing with her life now but I sure hope she isn’t trying to discourage other women to be a mom and whatever else they want to be at the same time. I am not implying that your friend was saying these things – it didn’t sound that way. That’s just what happened in my experience. Much different.

    I do homeschool my children and I don’t feel it consumes me. I don’t feel it’s my identity but instead enhances what I already enjoy doing. I have a blast educating them and in turn that educates me. This is a season of time I have with and it’s what works for us right now. It may not in the future. We will have to see but I am having fun with it and not really concerning myself with what others think or “worry about.” 😉

    Glad you were able to have some relaxing friend and family time!

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    1. Wow that is crazypants!! I am fairly certain that that message did not come from God either. Was she somehow jealous of your life and goals? So weird!!!

      And yes! You totally get it. I love homeschooling and this amazing time I have with Wyatt. I love our adventures and our methods of learning and what we learn – but I do also do other things. Like you, you are a photographer and a wife, a writer and a blogger. You have your own interests outside of homeschooling your children, there is a balance. I really think my friend had my best interests at heart – I think she was worried I would not leave anytime for myself at all, and burn myself out. But I won’t. 🙂 And, I am lucky that I have people like you that I can talk to about homeschooling with!

      And thanks Lisa. It was such an emotional week for us!

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    1. It was so wonderful to finally see them. We are keeping our circle very small and tight because of Wyatt’s needs, but I got to see my mom! 🙂

      Yeah, it was a little odd! I think she for sure had my best interests at heart though. She doesn’t want me to burn myself out. But I am good. 🙂

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  9. I’m glad you were able to sort it out. Right now homeschooling is a big part of you because you’re doing what is best for Wyatt in this pandemic. “There is a whole unit on rocks and minerals that I can’t wait to “dig” into with him” = LOVED and LOL’d.

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