There is something intrinsically so appealing about the Danish/Nordic lifestyle, the feeling of coziness that they call hygge. As an American, I feel that I can disappear into my endless to-do list, which gets longer everyday. My son has cerebral palsy, and we are running to therapy four days a week. We have at least one specialist doctors appointment a month. And that is of course in addition to all of the rest of our everyday things we have to do, that everyone does. Pay bills, grocery shop, clean, work if we work, go to school, all these things. Where do we find time to indulge our own selves, to take care of our own souls? It’s a rabbit hole for sure. The answer is that we need to find time, make time, just let stuff go a little bit, and enjoy the moments before they are gone.
This is something I have been reminding myself for a week or two now, since reading a few books on the subject, and looking at Pinterest and YouTube.
It’s the food that is drawing me in right now. I used to love spending time in the kitchen, making soup and baking while dancing around drinking a glass of red wine. Now, I feel like food has a different focus. W. is not a great eater. We have to practically stand on our heads to get him to eat, and we always need to add more fat to his food, just to increase calories. His CP also causes him to lose weight easier, as someone with CP actually uses 30% more energy than someone who doesn’t. Last week though, I began to relax a little about food. I would get so stressed about it ~ and I honestly think my stress and anxiety about W. eating was affecting him. The past two weeks he has been eating like a champ. Perhaps it is the food, as I am spending more time making food – and not with medical instructions on my mind, but love. Care. The instinct to feed those that I love good food is very strong in me, and I think by burying that part of myself somewhat, it was reflected in the food I was making, and thereby perhaps extending itself to my boy. I could be crazy, but I do believe that it could happen. We have been enjoying pancakes, muffins, and I plan to make homemade pop tarts tomorrow. I have made lemony salmon, quinoa with avocado and a squeeze of lemon, meatballs for the boy, and he has eaten them all with relish. I’ve used fun plates, my china, and some dishes made by hand by my mother-in-law on her potters wheel, making the meal even more special. (W. does not eat off the fine china however, lol)
And if I end the night with a glass of wine and a Reese’s peanut butter egg, then so be it. By letting myself enjoy the process, I think that W. is enjoying the product. I even had some fun with an ordinary peanut butter and jelly the other day, cutting it into a whale shape when serving it with his all time favorite Goldfish crackers.
The weather lately has also been amazing, and we have been taking advantage of it as much as we can, and in a hygge sort of way. Soaking up nature, the sun, the wind. Walking through the woods, even just sitting and enjoying a few minutes on the porch.
The night though has always captivated my little 2 year old. He is fascinated by it. On some of these nicer nights, we have gone and stood outside, looking up at the dark sky, lit here only by a few stars but still, beautiful, twinkly. He laughs, a real laugh, which rings through the quiet as he throws his arms skyward. A perfect moment, for this mom.
Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs.. 
Thank you for being so open and sharing your motherhood journey. I'm glad Wyatt is eating more and boy, everything sure sounds yummy. Are there different degrees of cerebral palsy and does getting therapy early help more in the long run?
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Cerebral Palsy is very varied, with many different forms and degrees. Wyatt actually has a more mild version. Early therapy is really key! Wyatt has been going since he was 7 months old. The earlier the better they say, if you can, because a young brain can be molded to form new patterns of thinking easier than relearning something, if that makes sense. Like, if you think of Wyatt as having a stroke, which is basically what happened to him with his brain bleeds which caused the CP, and an older adult who had a stroke, it theoretically should be easier for Wyatt to gain skills than the adult. He is a hard working kid! 🙂
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Sometimes we focus on doctors’ orders, that we forget about feeding a soul. And sharing good meals prepared with love is one of these things, which make us feel better. Also we have to take care of ourselves, because we need to be strong for these, who need our support.
Thank you for sharing.
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You are absolutely right – sometimes we forget about the big picture, the whole person, when we focus on one part, like medical instructions only. I have been enjoying cooking again. 🙂
Thank you for stopping by and your thoughtful comments! 🙂
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